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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911357">Night terrors</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JBKid/pseuds/JBKid'>JBKid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, AgentCorp, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:00:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JBKid/pseuds/JBKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is going through some tough stuff.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Night terrors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fic for Supergirl and my first for a long time, so please be gentle.</p><p>I have no idea how Alex doesn't have more mental health issues with the stuff she has dealt with.</p><p>Please be aware of the tags and associated potential triggers. I have marked this Mature as it's a fairly dark read.</p><p>You can @ me on Tumblr: JellyBabyKid</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex was awake. She had been asleep seconds before but was suddenly fully conscious. There had been none of the usual transition of slowly coming to, awareness gradually returning as dreams receded. It was as if someone had thrown a switch. She was fully cognizant. Her eyes snapped open the second awareness had returned. Her breathing was fast, as if she had been running, heart slamming against her ribcage. She was out of bed and standing before she had even registered that she was moving. She began to pace, frantically.</p><p>What had woken her? There was absolutely no recollection. She knew she had been asleep but now she was awake. Why? And why couldn’t she get her breath? She ran to the balcony door and flung it wide, stepping outside into the cold night air. Leaning her hands on the wall she tried to breathe in slowly, but her chest was too tight. </p><p>She stepped back and started to pace, looking at her hands she realised she was shaking violently. It was the cold. Must be the cold she told herself as she paced, sucking in great lungfuls of air in ragged gasps, trying to force the oxygen past the tight band that seemed to be around her ribs.</p><p>I’ve got to get away, get out, it's too enclosed in here, that’s why I can't breathe, she thought to herself, shaking her hands and arms out to try and stop their tremor. Even the balcony isn’t enough space. I need wide open space, I need fresh air. </p><p>She strode into her apartment and grabbed the bottom of her shirt, about to strip off when she realised she had fallen asleep fully clothed. Again. She pulled her boots on and swore as it took two goes to grab the laces. Her movements, jerky, urgent. Why wouldn’t her hands stop shaking? Finally getting her fingers to cooperate, she stood and grabbed her gun off the nightstand and stuffed it in the back of her jeans. </p><p>With quick strides she crossed the apartment, grabbing her leather jacket on the way past, she shrugged it on and grabbed her keys and flung the door open. </p><p>She couldn’t stand still and wait for the elevator, couldn't be in such a small space, she had thought as she ran down the stairs, two at a time, despite still panting for breath. Slamming the building door open with her palm she bent double as she stepped onto the street, choking oxygen down, her hands pressed against her thighs.</p><p>Looking up, the night time street was deserted and silent. Pools of light gathered under the streetlights dotted along the sidewalk.</p><p>Alex looked both ways as she straightened and started walking, fast, her boots almost silent on the tarmac. She hoped the motion would jog her memory, clear her thoughts. What had woken her? Was it a noise? She shook her head. There was nothing, a blank.</p><p>She crossed the street almost at a run, barely checking for traffic, as she saw her goal in sight. As her boots hit the sidewalk she speeded up, darting through the park’s entrance, heading for the wide open space at the very centre of the city. </p><p>A few late night dog walkers followed her rushed progress as they passed but didn’t stop. Half a dozen students passed within feet of her, talking loudly, clearly drunk. Alex jumped and span round, hand reflexively coming to rest on her gun as they shouted and laughed. She relaxed her stance as they carried on through the park, not even seeing her as they continued past.</p><p>Finally standing in the middle of the park, Alex rested her hands on her hips and tried to take a deep breath. It was more of a ragged pant as her thoughts raced along with her tripping heartbeat. When did this park get so small? Why was there no air? Why was everything so damned enclosed and small?</p><p>Alex closed her eyes and continued to try and control her breathing, still feeling as though her ribs were too tight.</p><p>She didn’t know how long she had been standing there when a hand touched her shoulder. Her reaction was instinctive, muscle memory kicking in from years of training, before her brain was even aware she was moving. She grabbed the hand, twisting it as she turned, forcing her assailant to his knees, arm twisted behind him, hand bent outward. There was a snap as his wrist broke. Alex followed through with her other hand, punching down, smashing her fist into a face once, twice before pulling pack and pulling her gun, pointing it at the prone form kneeling on the ground, clutching their arm.</p><p>“Freeze. Drop the weapon” a voice boomed behind Alex and she half turned, pointing her weapon in the direction of the voice, but making sure to continue to cover the form on the ground, despite his clearly being incapacitated. </p><p>“I’m a federal agent.” Alex challenged, flicking her eyes between the owner of the voice and the person on the ground.</p><p>“Ma’am. You’ve assaulted an officer. Lower your weapon, or I will shoot.”</p><p>“I…” Confusion filled Alex’s mind and coloured her features. “No.. he was attacking me.”</p><p>“No Ma’am, he was asking you if you were ok. Please lower your weapon. I will not ask again.”</p><p>Alex tried to think but her mind was foggy. That couldn’t be right. She was an agent… he was attacking her. She wavered and her gun slowly lowered, before falling from her fingers. She slowly raised her hands, confusion filling her mind.</p><p>“On your knees.” The voice boomed.</p><p>Alex slowly bent one knee and then the other, keeping her hands up as she sank to the ground.</p><p>As the owner of the voice moved towards Alex, he came into the pool of light from a nearby streetlight. She could see he was indeed a police officer, with his gun trained on her. Turning slightly she was now on a level with the man she thought was attacking her. He was also wearing a police uniform. And a lot of his own blood, alternating between clutching at his broken arm and broken nose.</p><p>Alex felt handcuffs tightening around her wrists and was vaguely aware of the guy with the booming voice reading her rights as she continued to stare at his bleeding partner.</p><p>And she still couldn't breathe.</p><p>Alex paced, entirely unaware of her surroundings, except for the fact that she was inside again and it was so small. Why was it so hot in here? Was the damn aircon busted? </p><p>She paced and realised her hands were shaking again. She shook them and then stuffed them in her jeans pockets. She scuffed as she paced, her boots loose, her laces and belt having been taken off her.  </p><p>She didn’t know how long she paced but eventually she gave up and slumped down on the moulded bed, letting her head fall backwards to lean against the cell wall. She had been like that for some time when she vaguely became aware of voices gradually getting louder. Keys rattled and the door to the cell block opened.</p><p>“...Blew 0.4 blood alcohol level, broke a cop’s nose and his wrist in two places.” The uniformed owner of the keys said to the woman accompanying him as she opened the door to the cell.</p><p>Alex didn’t move or even open her eyes, until a gentle hand touched her knee, at which she sat bolt upright and her eyes flew open.</p><p>“Alex.” The voice was as gentle as the touch. “It’s ok, it’s me.”</p><p>Alex looked into eyes level with hers as the person who had spoken was crouched down to her level.</p><p>“What happened?” The gentle voice asked.</p><p>“I woke up and I couldn’t breathe.” Alex mumbled, staring off to the side, avoiding eye contact.</p><p>“I know, honey, but you aren’t supposed to drink with your meds.”</p><p>“But I had to stop…. them.” Her voice shook.</p><p>“The flashbacks? They’re memories Alex, they’re just memories out of place.”</p><p>“And then I woke up and I couldn’t breathe.” Alex took a ragged breath.</p><p>“I’m here now. You can come home with me and I’ll stay with you, in case the nightmares come back.” She held out her hand and Alex took it.</p><p>“I don’t remember dreaming.” Alex sounded confused again.</p><p>“But you were; your panic attack woke you up again and you punched a police officer.”</p><p>Alex screwed her eyes shut and gripped the hand she held in hers.</p><p>“It’s ok. You can see Dr Olsen again tomorrow and talk to her about it. It will get better, you have to trust me. I’m still here and I love you. PTSD and all Alex Danvers.”</p><p>“I can’t do this without you, Lena.”</p><p>“I’m here, Alex. Let me take you home.”</p>
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